Grief and the MESS That’s Left Behind

I have a confession to make. I sometimes cuss out my dead mother under my breath. I know….it’s terrible….but it’s true. Now, let me explain. 
 
My mother, god rest her beautiful soul, left my sister and me the ultimate in estate dumpster fires. I’m talking about the G.O.A.T (Greatest Of All Time) of Estate Dumpster Fires: 3 houses, including one that had been in my family since 1890,  packed to the gills with antiques, china, sterling silver, knickknacks, photos, heirlooms and big brown furniture. You know, the stuff of nightmares.
I sold the 3 homes and disposed of the majority of the belongings years ago, but there’s still stuff remaining.
 
My mother, a trained research librarian and genealogy addict, had traced our family roots back to the Crusades, amassing quite a collection of files in the process.
 
I’m talking boxes and boxes of paperwork, newspaper articles, large scale family tree maps, birth certificates, marriage certificates, death certificates and old photos.

This past weekend, I was going through the files in an attempt to pare them down and finally do something with these files. There I was, sitting on the floor, paralyzed by overwhelm and cursing my mother once again. Do you understand now?
 
Recently, I was a guest on the Graduating Grief Podcast with Sherrie Dunlevy. In this episode entitled “Grief and the MESS that’s left behind,” we discuss how grief is compounded when a loved one leaves behind unfinished business.
 
In my case, this dumpster fire I was left with made matters worse by intensifying, exacerbating and delaying my grief. Unfortunately, each decision, task, to do and quandary has only added insult to injury. 
 
While I know these weren’t her intentions, I hope there is a lesson to be learned here, which is please don’t do this to your family. If at all possible, don’t leave them with a mess that you could of handled while you were living. 
 
If you’re nodding your head or breaking into a panicked sweat while reading this, take action today! Schedule a complimentary consultation to learn more about how I can help, either by preventing or managing an after loss dumpster fire.
 
If at all possible, I want to prevent you from cursing your loved one under your breath.
 
Warmly, 
Rachel
 
 
P.S. Tune in today to hear me on the Graduating Grief Podcast with Sherrie Dunlevy. Subscribe and listen on your favorite podcast platform today!